Best Bloggers Ever! Guest Bloggers May

GUEST BLOG 5: Mutiny of the House(mates)

The fact that Zoe is currently sat in the same room as us is slightly worrying. She is back earlier than Dan thought. Seeing as we need to do this blog and not mention anything bad (but at this moment we can’t think of anything).

We guess we should introduce ourselves first of all. We are the housemates that are mentioned upon occasion when things go wrong or when she wants to shame us (especially Dan when he buys dog food instead of people’s Beef Jerky). Dan is good at times with making lovely cakes for the house. Jack is the hard-working one of us as he is usually out at T-K Maxx earning a crust or money as some people call it. And Kerren…. Well as he isn’t here he just gets his name.

Well, what can we say about Zoe…

Guest Bloggers May Uncategorized

GUEST BLOG 4: Hair Of The Blog

sharktasticI feel like this blog needs a disclaimer of some sort. I am pretty new to this blogging shit, so lower your expectations. I’ve also been drinking for four nights straight, so anything good that was in my brain has definitely gone by now.

I’m currently sat in an armchair, wearing slippers, a jumper and sunglasses, and plucking the thickest, darkest hairs out of my moles on my arms. THIS IS MY ACTUAL LIFE. I also have twelve tabs open on my laptop. TWELVE. It’s dawned on me that I’m pretty far away from being a proper person. I’ve still not got a fucking clubcard or Nectar card, I have just about committed to a Boots advantage card. I have got a job though, so I’m probably going to be alright; I work on a till in a shop though, and nothing exciting ever happens. Once I asked a woman to enter her skin (instead of PIN), and we both knew I’d said it. That was probably the highlight of the year I’ve spent there.

Guest Bloggers May

GUEST BLOG 3: ALICE – Space invader

Squeee!!  Hi Zoe’s friends, readers and followers!  This is crazy exciting times, like being allowed to house sit for a cool friend who says she trusts you, but may or may not have installed CCTV to check you’re behaving.  So Hi Zoe too!  As she said down there we met via Sali Huhghes’ facebook site – it was a place where gobby feminists met up to talk about lipstick and bloody everything else and say c*nt more than the average…  Now she has her own actual site.  Yeah Zuckerberg – you don’t own us.  *finger snap*

Guest Bloggers May


Hello. This is a blog for Zoe with Josh and Patrick.

Shall we have different fonts? So people know who’s who?

Or different colours?

We’re doing this on one of those google things so we can see each other type. It’s very open to abuse. By the way Patrick, this is going up unedited, right? Whatever this looks like at the end, we upload. Those are my terms. I mean, we can neaten it up, paragraphs and shit, but just that.

Right. I can see this going well, then. OK, what shall we talk about?

Well if this is the beginning, we should introduce ourselves.

Guest Bloggers May

Guest Blog 01: Enter The Mothership


Zoë would be the first to tell you that I am a bit of a modern day Luddite. So why am I setting myself up to be judged by the world at large, I have no idea. Whether this is one of her better ideas I will let you, the reader, decide. 

Guest Bloggers May

This is a guest post. The guest is @jameswalkerguy. He is fine.

Hello. This isn’t Zoe, I’m her friend, James. I’ve agreed to write something as she can’t quite make it to a computer at the moment. The only problem being, not a clue what I’m going to write about. I don’t really know what I’m doing. The only thing I’ve been told is that this has to be done by midnight. I was also told the password to this account, which was definitely nowhere near my previous guesses.

Guest Bloggers May

Please help, whales have kidnapped my friend!

Hello. I am Natalie, I think I’ve been mentioned before.

I am appealing for information regarding Zoe, your regular blogger, who has been missing for some days. She said something about whales and then got cut off. I think she must have been swallowed by one and lost signal.

Zoe has been absent from the internet which is really unlike her and she is from Plymouth so I think she might have upset a whale and they have come to get revenge.



She might have said Wales actually. Only she then made this coughing noise which sort of sounded like being dragged underwater but might have been her pronouncing Machynlleth.

Guest Bloggers May

Emergency Protocol Paddy

…detecting backup procedures…

..activating backup blogger….

…initialising Emergency Protocol Paddy in 3…2…1…

Hello! I’m not a Zoe, sadly; not of any kind. I am in fact a Paddy, or a Patrick if you prefer (few people do). I am a friend of Zoe’s, but more importantly I know Zoe’s password. She is Otherwise Indisposed in ways that might be clear if you have read the blog in the past few days. They might not be, though, because I haven’t actually read it in the last week or so. No offence to Zoe, but I have been super busy with these exams that are coming up worryingly soon. But you don’t want to hear about that.