Apocalypse Flow(er).

6 Mar

If you’ve ever wanted to know what the end of days looks like, may I suggest visiting your local Lidl at 10am on Mothering Sunday?

It. Was. Madness. The automatic doors slid open and a rush of about 40 people crammed themselves through the entrance and descended upon the large display of flower bouquets. A small child genuinely got knocked over by a woman I’m assuming wasn’t her mother, since she didn’t say sorry, and probably wasn’t buying her own flowers. I went with roses as I figured I could use the thorns to defend myself, should someone start eyeing up my blooms and think I’m an easy target.  Not just a pretty face, me. Smart. Really bloody smart.

Yes, alright, shush. I know what you’re saying. “But Zoe, you weren’t just an innocent passer by, were you? You were a big old part of the problem. You got there at 9:56 to wait with everyone else, didn’t you?” Yes. Yes I was. But it was only because it’s really difficult to hide flowers overnight, not down to my own incompetence. Honest.

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