Diss-jointed.

3 Mar

Even Assistant Managers can’t escape it. I got bullied at work today guys. It was horrible. 

In response to a discussion with our security guard about shoplifters, the sentence “maybe they were just casing the joint?” left my mouth. Everybody else stopped talking and the worst awkward silence descended before various people started laughing, or asking me to clarify what I’d just said.

“Casing the joint.”

“Casing the joint?”

“Yes, casing the joint, it’s a thing people say sometimes but apparently you guys didn’t realise that.”

At that point, my face matched my hair and I had to crouch behind the healthcare counter checking my work emails until the embarrassment subsided, whilst above me the jokes continued flying about.

“Guys. Guys! Noooooo. Stop this. I’ll put a note on your permanent record, don’t think I won’t.” (This is my favourite faux threat, but I always make it very clear that I am joking, and as I’m always laughing as I say it, the context remains obvious.)

What followed was almost two solid hours of Jamie asking every single member of staff if they were casing the joint, or to keep an eye on anyone who may be casing the joint, just in case.

Karma got him back in the end though, as it turns out that he’s worked here for three months without realising that we have a kitchen, and, more importantly, a microwave. Twelve weeks’ worth of cold chicken lunches were payback enough for him being cruel, so I’ve agreed to give him the full guided tour of our white goods come Monday, because I am a lovely and forgiving human being. 

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