Is That Your Final Answer?

13 Jul

I can always tell when a new series of Only Connect has started because inevitably someone will google “twisted flax” and come across the blog that I wrote a couple of years ago about us being unsuccessful in getting onto the show. 

I know for a fact that I’m still not smart enough to get on the show, and I probably never will be. 

Therefore, I will have to rearrange my list of TV quiz shows I’d be good on thusly. 

1. Deal Or No Deal. Fuck all skill needed here. You’re literally picking random numbers, and your chance of winning £250,000 remains constant throughout the episodes. Just because it’s been 13 weeks since the £250,000 was on the table, doesn’t mean it’s been gearing up for an appearance. The money is not self aware, no matter how hard The Banker and Pilgrims try to convince you otherwise. 

2. Tipping Point. An unusual mix of luck, skill and knowledge. You also have to hope that the other contestants are really bad at answering questions, but good at special awareness when it comes to having the work experience kid put the counters into the machine. 

3. The Chase. I’d be BRILLIANT on The Chase, no joke. I’ve got a decent amount of general knowledge stored up in my brain, and can give as good as I get when it comes to “epic bants” between the Chasers and the contestants. Bradley Walsh gets the giggles as much as I do, so it would be perfect, as long as I was up against Anne or Paul Sinha. Also: multiple choice. 

4. Pointless. Tricky. You need a broad AND specific knowledge to do well on Pointless. It’s the only show I know that gives you a trophy before you’ve actually properly won the game. And relying on your partner not to fuck you over is key when it comes to choosing them. 

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