Crisis Point.

16 Dec

So on the way back from Cheltenham on Saturday, I made it less than 20 minutes in the car before having a little breakdown in the back seat about how I thought I was wasting my time doing a pointless degree, only to come out of the other end and work in some sort of job that’s completely unrelated to what I’m studying.

It’s not a particularly nice feeling, if I’m honest.

Especially when I consider how much debt from student loans I’m in already, without having actually graduated yet (£18,267.87 – more money than I can physically imagine at the moment). It makes me feel a little sick to my stomach.

I still don’t know if I made the right choice doing a practical subject, as opposed to something like English, and I guess I won’t know until I finish in July and have to go looking for a job.

I don’t know where I’m going to be living then either, which I suppose is exciting, but absolutely terrifying. I know I’ll need to move to a big city, but where in the country is completely up in the air.

Then there’s the worry that I’ll apply to graduate schemes and just…not be good enough.

I know I can’t be the only one that feels this way, but nobody really seems to actually talk about it. And if I think about it much more, I’m going to have another cry. It’s extremely exhausting trying to plan out a career at 22, but it just feels that it’s the only way to keep on top of things.

Anyone that can tell me that things will always work out alright would be much appreciated at the moment.


One Response to “Crisis Point.”


  1. 2013 in Review. | Closing Musings - January 1, 2014

    […] This year was the year that I had a huge existential crisis. […]

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